’’Because we’re scared. If I break up with him, he knows where I live. He knows my parents, he knows my friends, I don’t know what he will do.’’
In honor of the international day against women violence, Soukayna shares with us her experience living in Nice. She’s a 22 year old student living in Nice for the past one and a half years, originally from Paris.
Through her interview, she hopes to shed some light regarding women’s position in society, the things women have to learn to survive and the reason that some, don’t go forward when trapped in a dangerous situation.
She explained to us that, while she feels safer in the streets of Nice, in comparison with the capital, she always takes certain measures in order to feel secure.
Measures girls have to take to feel safe
’’I really want to buy a pepper spray because I don’t feel safe and I always have my keys in my hand. In Nice when returning at home alone, I always have my keys. It is a reflex.’’
Unfortunately this is not just Soukayna. It is every girl. In this society, women are still taught to always have a pepper spray in their bag, to hold their keys in between their fingers, to not listen to music so they can be aware of their surroundings and to scream ‘’fire’’ instead of ‘’help’’ because people will rarely come to your rescue.
A way out of a dangerous situation
Later on, Soukayna mentioned that once, she had to help a friend in need. Her friend, used to have a person following her, coming by her house and harass her often. This girl, did not feel comfortable to go to her parents for help, so she turned to her friend. Soukayna urged her to talk to a women’s association in Nice, in order to help her escape.
And so, she did. In case any woman is in need, Nice’s number for help 3919 and the association is called ‘’Accueil Femmes Solidarité’’. The address is 21 rue Dabray Nice.
Why some women don’t ask for help
Soukayna had her own experience to share. This time, for herself, she didn’t ask for help. Soukayna was in a relationship with an abusive partner. When asked if she reached out to someone, her words turned quieter and her gaze dropped to the ground.
’’We’re scared. I had a boyfriend who used to slap me, hit me and I was scared because I was like, if I break up with him, he knows where I live. He knows my parents, my friends, I don’t know what he can do. And the police doesn’t trust us enough when we talk to them.’’
According to her, women often fear that they won’t be believed or that the law won’t protect them enough. The time between the report and the trial, still leaves a gap where women stay vulnerable against their perpetrator.
Further than that, the penalty for domestic violence varies from 1 to 10 years in extreme situations. This means that with good behavior, the perpetrator would be out of jail in no time, leaving once again the woman who reported him scared.
Soukayna eventually got out of her abusive relationship and moved to Nice. Today, this unfortunate experience only lingers as a distant memory.
Current situation in France
In 2023, 321,000 women reported domestic violence. One of three women that were intentionally killed, died in the hands of a partner, making their home, not the streets, the most dangerous place for them to be. 15% of the women killed in 2023 had repeatedly reported domestic violence. The law and the system, weren’t enough to protect them.
Soukayna’s story had a happy end. But, not every girl was this lucky. This is why we raise awareness and push for change, so one day, women no longer have to hold keys in between their fingers.
[You can listen to Soukayna’s interview in the podcast bellow]
